Just To…Be…

As we nestle ourselves in the comfort of a new week; the cogs in the household wheels slowly turn again in predictable motion; the horrendous events of last week slowly whisper away with the winter wind.

But as I sit here relishing the fact that the twinlets are healthy again; that they have returned to their usual playful, cheery dispositions; I want to make sure that I record the positives as well as the hardships.

I don’t want to turn back in months, or even years from now, to only remember those challenging moments.

Those times when the green-horn mother in me was losing her head and in desperate search for some patience and sanity.

Because sometimes, that’s how we approach life; only being impacted by the difficult; only to forget what it means to enjoy the ordinary.

But like a subtle season change or when the ocean changes its tide, last Friday saw the last of the chaos.  It magically disappeared, leaving the afternoon with some serenity and peace.

After their afternoon nap, the sun was still shining brightly – inviting us to play outdoors.  And from there, everything fell in its rightful place.

The boys didn’t cry or wail like they usually do when waking from their sleepy mode.

And for the first time – in what seemed forever – I took the twinlets to one of their favourite playgrounds.

We played on the slide, they pointed and marvelled at the birds.  After almost two weeks of dreadful colds and coughs, I could see the light back in their eyes.

At the park, there are two swings – one baby one with back support and a safety chain and also a normal one for bigger kids.

I strapped Little K in the baby swing and held Little N on my lap as we swung next to him.

Suddenly, there was a calmness.  With just the gentle sway of the three of us.  Basking in the winter sun.

The boys were unusually quiet.  But as I could feel Little N sink deeper into my lap and looked down to see his eyes blinking slowly, I knew he was just relaxing.

Little K was looking up in the sky.  Studying his recent favourite find – aeroplanes.  Occasionally pointing but also just happy and content.

They were both letting the gentle momentum take control.

Knowing that the moment was perfect for it, I even began singing an Indonesian nursery rhyme.

And you know what ?  It just completed everything.

I suddenly remembered what it was like to just be.

To stop being muddled by the madness of motherhood.  To stop being frustrated by my children who don’t even understand their own frustrations.

In that brief point of time, I made sure I grasped onto the beauty of being a mum to my two beloved boys.