FaceBook Friends:Who’s Real ? Who’s Not ?

23 Jun

Like many, I started a FaceBook page for my blog for the sole purpose of keeping a better track on who my readers are.

Previously, I had only been broadcasting my blog posts to FB friends from my personal account and sure, I would get comments back.  But it was like throwing spaghetti on a wall:

Some of it stuck, some of it splattered…most of it fell.

The ratio of hits to the number of comments just didn’t add up.  It came to a point where I had to ask myself:

“Why was I fully exposing my entire life ?  My vulnerabilities ?  My frustrations as a parent ?”

Yet, there was little support or acknowledgement in return.

So, hence the launch of my blog page.

But even doing that still raised some concerns for me:

“What if no one actually “Likes” me ?  What if I get less feedback over there ?  Or worse yet, no hits at all ?”

It was a jump into the big, scary unknown.

I launched into brand-new territory on a whim.  With only my humble little blog to offer, I was excited and nervous but didn’t know what to expect.

Thanks to the great support of other mummy bloggers, it didn’t take long to not only meet  like-minded people.  But those who were just as genuinely keen to communicate.

These days, when I’m reading another mummy blogger’s heart-felt post, I am so touched, I have to share it with Hubby.

Like all devoted husbands, he gets excited when I am.  He’s happy when I am.  He understands that blogging has helped with that dreaded SAHM isolation.

And then he sees me.  Furiously tapping away at the keyboard, writing a response.  Getting my thoughts out.  Appreciating that someone else out there knows exactly what I’ve been through.

Sometimes I type with tears in my eyes.

Sometimes with a smile on my face.

And for a person who often overlooks the bleeding obvious, I finally get it.

This the true essence of social networking.

Rough calculations tell me that less than 10% of my FB friends are following my page.  The rest are all you guys.

Is it a shocking discovery ?  Does it indicate who are my real friends on FB ?

This will sound clinical and cold, but I guess it takes something like this to filter out who and what is relevant in my chaotic, busy, yet rewarding parenting life.

If that’s what is actually real, then I’m okay with that.

Acknowledgement:

The steady increase of “Likers” on my little FB blog page could not have been made possible without the help and enthusiasm of two special mummy bloggers:

Trish at My Little Drummer Boys who is the brains behind Friday FaceBook Flog.

Brenda at Digital Parents Australia who started a discussion forum for bloggers to send through their FB page and to mutually “Like” others.

If you’re looking for a kick start for your own page, go to these sites and you will never look back.

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18 Responses to “FaceBook Friends:Who’s Real ? Who’s Not ?”

  1. lightening June 23, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    I think no-one really “gets” blogging like another blogger does. I started my blog facebook page because I didn’t want to share everything with people who know me in real life. Kind of scary that I can open up easier to complete strangers than friends and relatives isn’t it?

    • mamagrace71 June 23, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

      Maybe scary, but I think very natural. I remember always thinking that it was always better to open up to a stranger than someone you know.
      With a stranger, there’s no judgement.

  2. kirri June 23, 2011 at 2:19 pm #

    That dreaded SAHM isolation….Im sure we could all write a book on that issue alone.
    Im sure blogging has saved my sanity on more than one occasion!

    I consider you one of my like-minded peeps and I’m happy we connected.
    ~Kirri

    • mamagrace71 June 23, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

      Awww….Kirri, I’m so glad we’re connected too !
      Your writing always inspires me x

  3. Kate June 23, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Great post, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately too… my personal account has an awful lot of people who aren’t *really* friends. I’m on the verge of suggesting that people can go and like my blog page if they want then doing a big cull.

    And you’re right that this is indeed the essence of social networking. While I’ve been dealing with lots of unexpected stuff over the past few weeks I’ve received greater support from those who read my blog and from my FB page than from pretty much anyone else.

    And for that I am of course very grateful 🙂

    • mamagrace71 June 23, 2011 at 4:37 pm #

      I opened it up to my FB friends to head over to my page a couple of times…Some responded, most didn’t. I figure they can always head on over if/when they want to.

      I know you’ve gone through some challenges over the past couple of weeks. And I know we haven’t met in real life…yet.

      If words of support are what you need and someone to hear what you’re going through…as part of this steadfast community, I’m here 🙂

  4. kirsten June 23, 2011 at 2:50 pm #

    I am not a blogger and I don’t get to see you but I’ve always “liked” you – even before fb and your posts. I do love reading what you write and EVERY time it has either made me laugh or get nostalgic. (Ok the one where you talked about the surfer and his heavily preg wife – that one made me cry)
    I love reading your updates and you have a natural talent – not “good” but actually talented.

    This blog today made me realise that I am overdue to pack my little people in the car and do a trip to see – as Eva refers to them “the two little tiny babies, N and K”
    Her and William can play with N&K (Curtis for now can just lay and stare) but I can be an adult and catch up with a beautiful, intelligent and impossibly funny adult too!!
    In about a month or so (once Curtis is a little older) you are leaving the house with me and we can go cause some havoc and fun for a couple of hours!! xxxxx

    • mamagrace71 June 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

      You gorgeous, girl ! I know I can ALWAYS count on you for support. And likewise, I hope you feel the same 🙂
      So long overdue for a catch up.
      But no hurry ! You did just have another bubba, after all.
      We’ll no doubt catch up in due course xxxxxxx

  5. lifeasmummymax June 23, 2011 at 2:54 pm #

    Great post!! I rarely mention my blog on my personal page. I got heaps of visits the 1st day i put it up there. But not one person commented or liked it or even said they had read it. I have gotten much more support on my facebook and its still only a baby 🙂

    • mamagrace71 June 23, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

      Yay for support !
      Most people just don’t get blogging and some people don’t understand your need to pour out so much of yourself. But the important thing is that your getting the support you need.
      We’re all here ! 🙂

  6. alyceb June 23, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

    Haha, I’ve been thinking about this too! About whether I should delete the sync with my personal page and just leave it on my fan page. Those that really care are already a fan anyway, so I don’t know what’s stopping me.

    • mamagrace71 June 23, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

      It’s a tough one, isn’t it ?
      It took me ages to bite the bullet and do it.
      But in the end, it’s totally a personal choice and what you feel most comfortable with 🙂

  7. Twinisms June 24, 2011 at 1:29 am #

    I’m shocked at how many other bloggers are more interested in my blog then my FB friends. But I love it and find that I am actually on FB a whole lot less, because I’d rather visit with people like you!

    • mamagrace71 June 24, 2011 at 8:49 pm #

      That’s coz your FB friends don’t know how frickin’ hilarious you are !!!
      Love your work x

  8. Lynnette Whitfield June 24, 2011 at 6:42 am #

    Gracie I love your blog and love you my dear friend xxxxx

  9. debwildhope June 24, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    Yes, like throwing spaghetti on a wall! Exactly!!! This so happened to me too. I so get that!

    Grace you have expressed what I have been thinking too – I went through this same thing a few months back. Were my friends even my friends? They didn’t care to read or comment? Were they not interested in me or not interested in the medium (the blog)?

    I think bloggers love other bloggers because we understand the need to connect through expression and interaction. Love blogger love!

    And it’s so great to read thoughts from your perspective – thanks again Grace!

  10. muminsearch June 25, 2011 at 7:01 pm #

    I wouldn’t take it so personally, not everyone likes reading blogs and not everyone is on facebook regularly enough to even notice you have a page. It really doesn’t mean they are not real friends or that tjey don’t care about you.

    I only have a facebook page for my blog for the people who prefer to follow their feeds on facebook. Now that I have a fancy URL for both my blogs, you won’t see me trying to promote my facebook pages. If it makes it convenient for people to get my updates, then they can like me. If it doesn’t do anything for them because they read my blog in their reader, then that’s fine by me.

    I am hardly ever on Facebook myself, pretty much only if someone writes something on my wall that needs an answer. If any of my friends have blogs that they are flogging on facebook, I wouldn’t know about it. And if I know about it (because they were kind enough to let me know by email), I won’t necessarily read their blogs. Take my sister-in-law, I love her… but she writes too much and I don’t necessarily want to know every little detail of her life. So I prefer to talk to her on Skype occasionally.

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